Stressful Days

Stressful Days

Have you ever felt like absolutely nothing positive is happening in your life for days?  Do events seem to be completely out of your control, and every time you attempt to do something positive you get a "NO!" response?  What can you do in these times of frustration to try to calm your fears and anxiety?  I am going through one of those periods currently, and I am struggling to not panic and take tiny steps forward against very strong winds on a slippery slope.

So, what am I facing?  I was in a car accident a few weeks ago.  My car was totaled, which in and of itself is not a big concern.  My injuries were relatively minor, just some contusions and sprains.  My worst injury was a sprained back.  I am still working to get back my flexibility and strength, and I still deal with pain in my muscles.  Once again, this is not a big deal when looked at separately.  However, I have been out of work and am quickly running out of funds.  I must file paperwork from a doctor for leave, and it must be done timely or risk losing my job.  I must get medical release to go back to work.  This sounds easy enough.  The other driver was at fault, and one can reasonably expect the other party's insurance cover all costs.  Unfortunately, insurance companies are not reasonable and like to only pay after all treatment has been completed, and this includes lost wages.  Due to insurance and other policies at doctors' offices these days, either you must prepay even if you have personal health insurance, the office will not see any patients for car accident related injuries, or some other policy issue leaves you without an appointment.  Seeing your regular doctor once does not seem to matter if you want to see him or her again.  The office has the no-accident policy, and it is simply too bad that the policy was over looked last time.  Now, however, other doctors will not see you because you have already seen one doctor.  This is where the frustration starts to build and anxiety starts to reach a crippling level.  Other really minor things like a sauce pan springing a leak, the flapper in the toilet suddenly needs replacing, a bill you thought had arranged to keep low is larger than expected, the documents you need are in a lock box and the key is no longer where it belongs on your key chain, and other issues just make it harder and harder to function.  How am I going to get through this?

One of my coping skills is talking about it in some fashion.  This includes this blog, posting in groups online, and even talking to the staff at doctors' offices who empathize but are stuck in their situation as well; they did not make the policies, but are forced to apply them, even though they agree it is simply sick.  

A second skill I am trying is extra rest and deep breathing.  I take short naps as I need to, or go for a walk to rest the mind.  It helps for a while, but eventually I must start acting again.  Reducing the anxiety allows me to take or at least attempt to take a few more positive steps.

Thirdly, I am pacing myself as I keep trying to contact more doctors, keep my employer informed, and update the third party leave administrator [which never seems to reply to my requests for information].  I'll make a few phone calls, or stop by some doctor offices, and then do something else; yesterday I did my laundry.  At a certain hour of the day, it is simply time to stop.  This is work, and my work day cannot be too long or I will get sick and I know it.  So, I end my day around 5 pm for these issues.  

Another important coping skill I am using is admitting I need help and asking for it.  I had hoped to get to one agency this morning, but was on the phone all morning trying to find a doctor or seeking assistance; I will have to simply try again next week.  I called my case manager, and she at least indicated I will likely have rent assistance if it is necessary, and though she does not know of a medical resource, she is going to help search for one.  I dialed 2-1-1, the national hotline for finding assistance, to see if there are other resources to try.  I was given some suggestions, but they are already all on my list.  The  operator seemed to care and sought additional input from the research department, but found nothing.  Apparently, I will have to seek legal assistance, something that will raise my anxiety level and I hoped to avoid, but I can at least be satisfied I am taking any and all steps I can think of to move forward.  

Trying to keep a sense of humor about the collective situations is helpful, too.  I am not in control of most of this, so I need to find a way to laugh about it.  This makes it easier for me to look for aspects over which I can exercise some control.  

What am I going to do next?  I am not sure of what steps to take regarding the issues to be honest. However, I will make sure I eat, rest, and take my medicines.  My phone minutes will soon be gone, so I am limiting phone calls for now. though I would like very much to talk with my counselor.  I am allowing myself more time to play games.  Treating myself is important, so I might spend coins on something sweet.  Taking a bubble bath helps to ease the pain in my back and is relaxing, too, so my tub has seen more occupation time.  My dog likes to get extra attention when I am stressed, for which I am thankful.  In short, I am going to do my best to use every coping skill I know to take care of myself.  I have to focus on me, not what the world expects.  If I focus on something else, my life will get far too blurry and the world's expectations will become even more elusive.